Sweet Dreams
by Baalsgirl
Summary: Rodney’s got a serious problems concerning his most favorite junk food...Early Season 1 and kind of a RC slash. Showdown! Expect a shocking final with things flying pretty deep.
1. Chapter 1

**Sweet Dreams** _by Baalsgirl_

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis. (I wished I'd own Rodney and Carson, though...)

But, hey, I do own the story line, that's something to begin with.

Rating: K (PG?)

Season: early 1, as supplies were running low.

Pairings: bit of a Rodney & Carson slash

Summary: Rodney's got a serious problems concerning his most favorite junk food...

AN: This is my first Atlantis story and supposedly the first decent thing I've tried to write for you since April. Enjoy!

xxxxx

Rodney McKay threw another sheet of paper into the waste bin.

"I can't work like this", he grumbled to himself. Frustrated he reached out to grab another piece of his consolation chocolate.

While he was munching on it he thought over his plans for the emergency power redistribution once again.

At once he remarked a motion. His gaze shifted to the table and he saw a hand directly en route toward _his_ last bits of chocolate. Something needed to be done immediately.

"Ouch", Radek Zelenka drew back his hand, "What was that for?"

"For trying to get your fingers on _my_ chocolate", Rodney stated in a very accusing way.

"That's no reason to hit me like that", he defended himself kneading his aching hand, "I wasn't even near it."

"You know, I'm an extremely egoistic person", Rodney said almost sulkily.

"If not already paranoid", the Czech mumbled, "but no wonder, since this is likely the absolute last bar in the entire city..."

"What?" Rodney stared at him, "Can you repeat that?"

"We are out of chocolate", Zelenka repeated aloud.

"That's impossible, you're kidding me", he glared at his colleague with disbelief.

"No, Rodney, it's a hundred percent true", came the innocent, but though absolutely not compassionate reply.

McKay rose from his chair, this matter needed further confirmation.

"Finish that for me", he told Radek quickly shuffling his notes over to him, "I've got more urgent things to do."

He then turned around to leave the lab grabbing, the last piece of chocolate left. He really, really could not work like this...

xxxxx

"Major Sheppard."

John Sheppard who had just been talking to Lieutenant Ford turned around slowly, turned around and folded his arms.

"McKay?" he questioned a little impatiently as he saw the searching expression on the physicist's face.

"I was told that our chocolate supply has run out and...", he began.

"That's it", the major said plainly, "and no, I don't have a hidden stock and if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

"And how about any Power Bars?" Rodney exquired eagerly.

Sheppard reached into his pocket and took one out holding it up in front of McKay's eyes, but as he wanted to snatch it, he pulled it back.

"No, Rodney", he said with a devious smirk, "I've always given you all the chocolate I had left, so now this one's mine. Mjum, peanut butter", he tore the pack open, "this'll replace the lunch I haven't had, yet", he turned to Ford, "Want some, Lieutenant?"

"Thank you, Sir", Aidan Ford grinned brightly, eyeing McKay mischievously.

"That's not fair", Rodney protested.

"Well", Ford stated, "wouldn't have that problem if you stopped guzzling five bars a day."

Rodney let out a pained sigh, "It's _four _at most", he muttered marching away from them disappointedly. He had to find somebody else he could pour his troubles out to, somebody who was less self-important than the military guys... someone like Dr Weir.

(AN: A really good occasion to tease Rodney, or what do you say?)

xxxxx

"Elizabeth", Rodney cleared his throat and walked into Weir's office.

"Rodney", she eyed him expectantly, "Have you finished the redistribution plan?"

"Well, quite actually I've asked Dr Zelenka to do it", he paused, "Because I have another little problem I wanted to talk about just now."

"And that is?" she blinked thoughtfully as if knowing what was about to come.

"I was told that our supply of chocolate is no longer existent", he stated solemnly.

"Well, that's right, Rodney, I'm sorry. I know how much you need it."

To McKay it seemed as if she was inwardly mocking him, "Need? It's essential", he told her in a stirred way.

"I know. But I'm sure, there'll be a planet on which we'll find something comparable", Weir stated, "Till then you and all the others will have to live without it. If you'd apologize me now..." she got up.

"Of...course", he stammered with a flight of deep sadness. His situation was growing more and more desperate the more people he talked to.

Reluctantly he gave in that there might be only one person left who wouldn't tease but help him...

Sadly he trotted through the corridors until he finally reached infirmary.

xxxxx

To be continued...

r&r please ;-) thx.


	2. Chapter 2

Carson Beckett sighed as he heard familiar steps coming to a stop right behind him.

"Rodney", he stated without turning around, "What's the matter with you?"

"Matter?" McKay sounded sort of excited, "All the chocolate is gone. There's nothing left. That's the _matter_", he nearly yelled.

Slowly Carson tuned around, pondering if he should speak out what he was thinking just now; he was really afraid that Rodney would beat him up for it.

"Rodney, calm down", he said slowly.

"Calm down, calm down", McKay mocked him, "Why _should_ I?", he spoke even louder now, "Soon I'll be becoming _hypoglycemic_."

"You won't", Beckett rolled his eyes, "and now would you _please _calm down?"

Rodney was still very furious, but at least he had muted his volume a little, "Why, oh, why", he griped, "is everybody against me. Sheppard, Weir, even Zelenka, and now it's _you_, as well."

"Oh, come on, Rodney", he soothed him, "nobody's against you, me neither. It's just that I think that the lack of chocolate might help you to lose some weight."

Finally Carson had dared to speak out his thoughts, but as soon as he had done it, he flinched fearing that Rodney would go for him.

For his luck the physicist merely scold him by yelling again, "Have you just called me _fat_?"

Carson raised his hands defensively, "Oh, no, I didn't. But please look how unhealthy chocolate is: Too many carbon hydrates and fats..."

"But do I care?" Rodney fumed, "No. I need all that stuff to _think_."

Unnerved Beckett rushed off towards his office, but of course McKay followed him on the heal.

"So, now what", he demanded impatiently, "will you help me?"

As Carson reached his desk he realized that there still was a certain piece of aluminum foil lying on top of a paper stack. Quickly he tried to hide it, but he was not fast enough, Rodney had already spotted it; it was too late to find a safe place for it .

So without further thought he removed the packing and started to chew on the last bit of milk chocolate that had been in it.

The physicist nearly jumped into his face, "How dare you eating this holy piece of chocolate front of my starving eyes?"

Beckett shrugged thoughtlessly, "Because it's mine?"

xxxxx

Now Rodney got really sour, inwardly he cursed Carson and all the others around.

There had to be a conspiracy going on, he sensed it. The whole bunch had hatched a devious plan only to tease him: they had probably dug a big hole somewhere on the mainland and thrown the entire remaining stockpile of chocolate into it and by now the Athosians living there must have already found it and were cheerfully feasting over the chocolate that would have actually been destined for him...

One moment. What was he thinking? Obviously the lack of sugar was already making him nuts...

Pissed he strode away from Carson planning to retreat somewhere to think up a plan on his own, since he could really not expect help from anyone of these complacent nerds around, that was for sure now.

xxxxx

The only quiet place Rodney could currently think were his quarters. He locked the door behind him and threw himself onto the bed.

And what now? Quickly he began to go over his possibilities.

He could crawl in front of every inhabitant of the city and plead for just a little bit of their private chocolate reserve, though he did not feel that he had reached this grade of desperation, yet.

Or he could spy after Major Sheppard, since he was sure that he was hiding something from him, cunning as he could be...

Or he could try and find a temporary substitute for it, such as ... cookies or muffins.

Mhm, muffins, such as these his grandma used to make when he was just a little crawler...

xxxxx

"Rodney? Are you there?"

McKay shot up; he must have had dozed off, dreaming of his most favorite double chocolate muffins. But why was his thumb that wet? Had he really condescended to sucking on it again just like a four-year-old? In an absolutely repelled way he wiped it dry with his shirt.

Slowly he walked over to the door and opened it. In front of it stood Beckett looking at him with doggy eyes.

"Carson, what do you want?" Rodney questioned sulkily.

"Ehem", he cleared his throat, "I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry for not giving you the rest of my chocolate", he pulled out a packet from behind his back, "And to make up for it I've brought you this."

Rodney took it from him, "Oh, Carson. That's too nice... If I'd be you I'd cry now", he cracked a short, cynical smirk adding "but I'm not, so..."

"That's really my last bar, now", Beckett informed him," please treat it with care."

"I will", he tore the foil open and broke off a big piece to compensate for the immense mental stress he had suffered during the past 90 minutes.

"If you call that care", his colleague folded his arms.

"Oh, come on, you shut up", McKay pouted, "and what do you call your scene an hour ago?"

He raised his hands, "All right, all right. You know what? I'll help you with your plan, before you start to yell at me again."

(AN: A heart of gold he has... but I dislike his hairstyle, though.)

xxxxx

Here we go with chapter two. Thanks for the peachy reviews so far.

Kc, know what? My parents hide the chocolate in the cupboard between the saucepans or among the bowls and sieves, it's like Easter all the time, _sigh_.

RC Cola rings a bell with me though I've never been to South Carolina.

So, cola can be counted as food, then? That's cool, gotta remember that.


	3. Chapter 3

Rodney paced up and down the length of his quarters while Carson sat on the bed twiddling thumbs.

"You're really a great help, Carson", he huffed.

"I know", his colleague sighed apologetically, "But what shall we do? I mean really... Shall we go on strike or what do you think?"

"Hm", McKay pursed his lips, "haven't thought of that, yet. But there has to be a more intelligent solution..."

"Such as...?" Carson folded his arms.

"Stake out Sheppard. I'm damn sure that he's got a big stock of chocolate hidden somewhere."

Beckett squinted at him in a preoccupied way, "Rodney, you're sorta paranoid. Why should the major...?"

Rodney grunted rolling his eyes, "You should've seen the way he grinned at me. He's definitely got something cooking."

"I don't think that suspicions will take us anywhere", Carson stood up, "Know what? I'll fetch us some hot chocolate. At least that hasn't run out, yet."

"You mean that lumpy instant crap? No wonder there are still tons left...", he pondered.

"Rodney, you're far too choosy", Beckett tutted shaking his head.

"But you can get me some coffee."

"You're twentieth cup for today?" he teased him.

"No, my _eighth_. Black, no milk and under no circumstances sugar."

His friend turned to leave muttering to himself, "No sugar in coffee, but guzzling tons of chocolate."

"Hey, I've heard that", Rodney called after him.

xxxxx

Having reached the cafeteria Carson went over to the coffee machine and filled a mug for Rodney. He then poured some hot water for himself, but as he reached for the spoon in the cocoa bowl, he saw that it was empty to the last crumb.

He turned to Teyla who had just come to a stop behind him, "Teyla, do you happen to know if there's some cocoa powder around here somewhere?"

"I'm sorry", she stated, "but there's none to be found. I've just given up the search for it, since I wanted some myself."

"So it's gone as well. Looks as if I have to go for tea, then.", he bit his lip with a sigh, "It's all so frustrating, you know?"

Teyla eyed him curiously, "What is frustrating, Doctor?"

"It's Rodney. Since chocolate has run out he's slowly becoming cranky. And I'm the one he's bugging with it, because seemingly I'm the only one who falls for his pleadings."

"Oh", a grin crossed her lips , "perhaps I should talk to him."

"Thanks for the offer, but I think you don't have to bother yourself with his conspiracy theories."

"All right", she motioned away from him, "it was nice talking to you, but I have to return to work now."

"See you, Teyla."

Beckett grabbed a teabag and lifted up the two mugs. With a frown he left the cafeteria. He was not sure, but something was a little strange here. Somehow Teyla had not quite behaved the way she usually did.

Maybe Rodney was right and there was a conspiracy going on... But, no, that would have been too weird.

Was he already getting infected with Rodney's chocolate mania? Shaking his head he walked on through the corridors until he came back to the quarters.

xxxxx

"Hell, Carson, what took you so long?", Rodney snatched the mug from him almost instantly after Carson had entered. And about forty seconds later he had already emptied it.

"Wah, the stuff was already halfway frozen", he complained, "which _abbreviation_ did you try this time?"

"None", Beckett shrugged changing the subject, "Has something come to you, yet?"

"Well, actually, yeah it has", Rodney told him, "We could assemble a team and go on the search for something comparable to chocolate."

"And who'd be _on_ that team?" Carson questioned in an unnerved way.

"Me, you, and for the rest I'll go talk to Weir. But in no case I want Sheppard to be there..."

"Oh, really?" Beckett retorted cynically, "I think now you're exaggerating a bit, Rodney."

"You think? Then you're heartily invited to stay at home." McKay shot him a pettish glare and strode off through the door.

Carson let out a long groan before he finally decided to follow him and see what would happen next.

xxxxx

AN: I think Carson has already taken revenge for the voodoo comment in a kinda subtle way, since right after it he sorta hurt Rodney (and wasn't he sorta teasing him as well?), or am I the only one who saw it?

Sorry for the delay, but I'm currently having a big problem to access the net. But if you're lucky I'll get the chance to post another chapter next week...


	4. Chapter 4

Once again McKay marched into Weir's office. Beckett followed him very slowly trying to look important.

Rodney cleared his throat, "Elizabeth?"

Weir looked up raising her eyebrows in a strained way, as if she already knew what wacky idea he had come up with.

"Rodney", she said trying not to sigh, "what can I do for you?"

_Ouch_, Carson half-closed his eyes with a twitch. How the hell could she fake such a bright smile in a nerve-wrenching situation like this, with an absolutely loaded Rodney standing right in front of her, ready to yell her into pieces as soon as she said something wrong?

"I want to put together a team", he informed her solemnly, "to go and search something comparable to chocolate."

Elizabeth was about to pull a face, but in the end she managed to halfway compose herself, "Rodney, listen", she told him carefully, "but at the moment I can't permit you such a mission."

"And _why_ not?" he snapped absolutely lacking of understanding.

"Because", she took a long breath, "there are more important things to do."

"More important", now McKay really yelled at her, "do you have an idea..."

"Rodney, please", Weir tried to calm him, "yelling doesn't take us anywhere. We can talk about everything, but first of all you should go and help Dr Zelenka with the emergency power plans. He has got some trouble with it..."

"God..." , Rodney spun around throwing up his arms, "Why am I only surrounded by _jerks_ here?" he fumed. Then he shove past a sort of staggered Carson and trotted away into the direction of the lab.

As soon as he was out of sight Weir groaned and propped her head into her hands. "Oh, Carson, what shall we do with him? It seems as if he's slowly getting nuts."

"Well", Beckett frowned tiredly, "I really tried to talk him out of it", he shook his head, "I'd better follow him before something happens", with these words he was gone.

xxxxx

Only moments later John Sheppard walked into Dr Weir's office handing her a pack of chocolate.

"Thanks", she sighed tearing it open, "I really needed it", gratefully starting to chew on it.

"Is he getting behind it, yet?" the major asked with a devious grin.

"No, not yet."

"Great", Sheppard chuckled, "slowly deceiving him becomes a lotta fun..."

Smirking he unwrapped himself another power bar.

xxxxx

Rodney was decided to tear Zelenka a strip for him being too stupid to complete the work on his own. How could he dare to disturb him while he was desperately trying to solve more important problems concerning his survival?

"Radek" , as soon as McKay saw the Czech, he nearly jumped into his face, "Why the _hell _can't you finish this job without my help. You know how _busy_ I am?"

"Busy with your fruitless search for non-existent chocolate", Zelenka murmured.

"What are you calling _fruitless_?" Rodney spat, "you're the one doing _fruitless_ things here."

Radek eyed him completely emotionless, "No, Rodney, you won't excite me with this", he stated.

"You're an _idiot_", McKay shouted.

Zelenka's look grew deadpan now, "Am I?"

Now something happened no one had reckoned with: All of a sudden Rodney broke out into tears and threw himself into Carson's arms.

"Why am I surrounded by so many stupid people?" he wailed, "Nobody likes me..."

Beckett rolled his eyes skywards, "Come on, Rodney, you know I like you."

McKay fell silent for awhile and kept on weeping into Carson's t-shirt. And finally Carson found enough courage to tell him to stop, "Now please stop crying, Rodney", he said as if talking to a five-year-old, "and help Dr Zelenka with his problem."

"Please, Rodney", Radek added sheepishly, "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

McKay blew his nose into the sleeve of Carson's jacket, "All right", he grumbled grudgingly, "but after it you'll leave me _be_", he nearly shouted again, "_Understood?_"

"Yes", Zelenka pulled an unnerved face, "and perhaps I could help you with the chocolate problem after it", he added quietly.

"I'm not interested in your _great_ help", McKay huffed.

xxxxx

Meanwhile Beckett decided to go to his quarters changing his clothes, since it was not much pleasure for him to run around with Rodney's snot sputtered all over them.

He was already on his way back to the lab to check on Rodney and Zelenka as a shred of conversation caught his interest.

"... Don't wanna miss his face when he gets to know."

Carson peered around the corner and saw Lieutenant Ford talking to Sheppard.

"Me neither", Sheppard was tittering like a little girl, "I'm really looking forward to telling him tonight. Or do you wanna do it?"

"No, no, Sir. I'll leave you the fun", Ford stated, "maybe I'll be able to make a pic of McKay exploding."

"Oh, yeah, that'd be great. Or why not make a movie clip right away?" the major pondered.

_All right_, Beckett had heard enough. So there was definitely a conspiracy against Rodney going on here. And Sheppard was the main suspect. Of course he was, finally he had no longer been able to hold to himself, living out his fun by teasing him.

Carson decided to tell him right away. But, no, perhaps Rodney needed a little lesson after all these complaints he had already placed. He was not too sure, but maybe this little ass-kick would not be that bad for his nerve-racking friend...

xxxxx

To be continued. (Soon I hope.)

Anybody noticed Carson's beautiful eyes that are hiding under this funny hairstyle of his?


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you content now?" Rodney exquired in a highly unnerved way.

"Y-yes, thank you", Zelenka sighed knowing that one day he would pay for occupying this bit of his colleague's time.

But at least he was safe for the moment, since Dr Beckett returned just now and of course Rodney practically jumped at him trashing him with all the complaints he had to keep to himself for the past ten minutes.

Carson tried his best to stay calm while Rodney kept on wailing and complaining with no end in sight.

"All right, Rodney. Are you finished now?", no reaction, just an angry glare. Carson thought for a moment, then started anew:

"How about having some dinner?"

"Dinner?" Rodney nearly sprang into the air, his eyes suddenly glowing in a craving way, practically screaming out the word _FOOD_, "Let's go, I'm hungry. Haven't eaten for..."

"Half an hour?" Carson retorted.

"Right", he spun around at Zelenka having picked up his strange gaze, "What are you staring at? That's a really long time for a pitiable, always misunderstood genius like me. My brain needs _carbs _unlike your tiny lump of gray cells..."

Radek rolled his eyes skyward and turned away muttering some curses in Czech.

"Ignorant small-brained nit", McKay growled to himself. He pulled Carson's sleeve and dragged him out of the lab heading for the cafeteria.

xxxxx

About fifteen minutes after he had begun to eat Rodney had already emptied a big plate of pasta and was now lamenting about the dessert.

"Carson, why the _heck_, must they decide to serve the rest of _lemon _ice-cream just tonight while I'm about to starve? Don't they know that I die a painful death as soon as I touch it?"

Carson groaned, "Well, your not the only person who needs food, here and..."

"But I'm the most _important_ one! When I starve to death, you'll all have a _serious _problem."

"All right. But I don't really think that skipping dessert once would kill you."

"You have no idea", McKay began, but that moment John Sheppard stopped at the table followed by Lieutenant Ford.

(AN: Show time!)

"Hey you two, enjoying the dessert as much as I do?", he shot Rodney a playful glance, "Mjum, _lemon_ ice-cream. I _really_ love it."

Slowly McKay's face became fire red, "_Shush_, will you?" he fumed.

But the major did not stop, "Of course I know you've got that _nasty _allergy and would rather prefer _chocolate_ ice-cream..."

"How prudent of you. And now you can finally admit that you've stockpiled all the remaining chocolate bars you could get..."

"Have I?" he turned to Ford.

"Well, Sir", Aidan smirked, "I'd say you have."

"Yeah", Sheppard grinned, "you could say I've made it Rodney-safe."

"Oh, you", Rodney jumped up ready to beat the major. That moment Ford took out a polaroid camera and shot a picture. As soon as it came out he handed it to Sheppard who help it up high into the air so that McKay was not able to snatch it from him.

"Give me that", he called desperately jumping up and down like a little kid.

Now Dr Weir showed up not able to conceal the rather bright smile on her face. "Well, Major, I wouldn't say that this is very nice of you. She took the photo from him and looked at it, quietly whistling through her teeth, "That's funny, really, going to get a copy."

"Yeah, yeah, _extraordinarily_ funny", Rodney retorted, still sour, "How dare you conspiring against me?"

"It's that you've just been too greedy concerning our chocolate supplies", she explained with a slight grin, "But you know what?"

"What?" he yelled.

"For we were fearing that you would beat us up when you'd get to know, we girls have made something for you."

An instant later Teyla came in carry a tray on which sat a kind of huge chocolate cake.

"So this is why the cocoa powder was gone", Carson pondered.

"Yes", Teyla confirmed, "sorry I could not tell you the true reason, for we feared you would tell Dr McKay..."

"Very friendly", he sighed, "and that with me..."

Rodney was equally pissed, "You are an unbearable pack of cunning creeps, daring to deceive me like this...", he took a handful of the cake and threw it right into Weir's face, the next portion he took landed on Major Sheppard who found this really funny:

"Food fight!" he shouted loudly and all of a sudden hell broke lose in the cafeteria and those present began throwing the valuable food resources through the room and at each other.

Meanwhile Rodney licked the remnants of chocolate cake from his fingers. "Good, really", he contently said to himself.

Quietly he lifted the tray and sneaked away to a remote part of the city where he could leisurely feast over his prey.

xx Fin xx

So, that's it, peeps. I hope you liked it. And for a last time : R&R please. Every single review is like birthday to me...


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